


Sick

by weirdindeed



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Study, I Don't Even Know, Kidnapping, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Alternating, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stockholm Syndrome, Time Skips, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22653733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdindeed/pseuds/weirdindeed
Summary: "The plan was simple: kidnap Akaashi Keiji.It didn’t sound hard or particularly challenging, given that he knew where Fukurodani Academy was and what time the volleyball team would finish with the training."Or: Akaashi Keiji mysteriously disappears.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Sakusa Kyoomi
Comments: 22
Kudos: 179





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is set somewhere after the Spring High-Tokyo Prefecture Representative Playoffs, where Itachiyama won against Fukurodani. There won't be any rape/non-con elements in this first chapter. They'll mostly be around the third chapter, but I'll make sure to add a warning.

What woke Akaashi up wasn’t the light entering from the window, nor the sound of the door being unlocked. It was the strong, pungent smell of antiseptic, which reminded him so much of his dentist’s studio.   
He slowly opened his blue eyes, his pupils trying to get used to the sunlight that was filling the living room…

  
_Wait, where was he again?_

  
He suddenly realized that he couldn’t recognize the place he was in. Which was weird, since he was pretty sure he got home just fine from the training the night before. He could clearly remember changing clothes, collecting his stuff and his bag, putting his hoodie on and…

  
_And?_

  
Something just wasn’t adding up, but his half asleep mind just couldn’t grasp it. He didn’t even have enough time to properly notice that his wrists were tied before he witnessed the main door - of what looked like a catalogue sample of a living room, given how clean and tidy the place was – being opened.  
Akaashi felt something flipping in his stomach when he recognized the black, curly hair and the deep dark eyes of the man that was now standing in front of him. 

***

Sakusa Kiyoomi wasn’t a bad person.  
He knew he wasn’t as he put the hand gel, which he’d just cleansed his hands with, away in his pocket, minutes after carrying inside his house the unconscious body of Akaashi Keiji. Good thing the setter wasn't that heavy, it was nighttime already and Sakusa didn't live that far from the school.  
As soon as they were inside the house and he gently lied the setter’s body on his couch, Sakusa instinctively put a hand on his own mouth, free from his white mask for once. He forced himself not to fall victim of the doubts rising inside his mind, his fingers twitching, betraying his nervousness. After all, he knew he would be forgiven for this, he was _sure_ of it.

And now came the most important part of all: making sure that Akaashi didn’t freak out as soon as he woke up the next morning. He felt a cough rising inside his throat at the thought of the setter completely misunderstanding the reason why he was there, his wrists tied and his head surely heavy - after coming off the chloroform that he’d put him to sleep with, while he was picking him up from the school. 

He just couldn’t allow Akaashi to get anxious. 

Which was why he’d refrained from changing his clothes and cleaning him up before letting him inside his house, although he _really_ wanted to. There were no malicious thoughts involved either: he just wanted to make sure Akaashi wasn’t bringing any unwanted influences (aka – _anything that may have nearly involved Bokuto Koutaro_ ) from the outside there.  
But he’d stopped himself, perfectly aware of how that may have looked like to the other. 

So he’d just gently moved his body on the couch, tied his beautiful wrists with a plastic string and covered his unconscious, slim body with a blue blanket he’d never used before, something he’d bought a few days prior because it reminded him of the setter’s eyes. He’d then sat beside him for a while, monitoring his chest slightly moving up and down to make sure he wasn’t having trouble breathing in the middle of that pitch black sleep he’d forced him into. He tried his best to ignore the guilt that was rising in his stomach, his long fingers tracing one of Akaashi’s cheeks, one of the softest things he’d ever touched, he thought. He wondered if the setter did any skincare routines.

The plan was simple: kidnap Akaashi Keiji.   
It didn’t sound hard or particularly challenging, given that he knew where Fukurodani Academy was and what time the volleyball team would finish with the training. And following Akaashi, as soon as he finally parted from his dear, annoying teammate Bokuto, was a piece of cake as well. He was taller than the setter and also bigger in built, so grabbing him abruptly while he was turning a corner and pushing the hand holding the tissue onto his mouth came easy too.

So, yeah, the plan was indeed simple but…

_Now what?_

*** A month before ***

“I don’t like the way he looks at you”

They had just lost against Itachiyama and were about to greet the other team and finally go home.  
Akaashi stopped with his hand mid-air when he heard Bokuto speak. Well, to be precise he _saw_ him speaking, otherwise he wouldn’t have recognized such a deep, guttural voice as the one belonging to his friend.  
The setter decided it would be wise to take a sip of water from his bottle another time, getting a bit closer to Bokuto to try and look in the same direction as he was looking, his gaze soon focusing on the source of the spiker’s displeasure: Itachiyama’s ace, Sakusa, was staring right at Akaashi from the other side of the net, sweat dripping on his face, still as a statue. His eyes were so dark and intense that the setter soon switched his gaze back to Bokuto, that instead kept looking towards the other side of the net as if there was some kind of competition going on between the two players.

“What are you talking about, Bokuto-san?”, Akaashi asked, even though there _was_ something unsettling in the way Sakusa was looking at him. And, yes, it wasn’t the first time the setter had noticed that. But what good would have done freaking out about it? Maybe it was another one of his fixations, like his white mask or avoiding big crowds… or he was just admiring his form, studying it. There were so many possible explanations to his staring that Akaashi had decided not to worry about it and just leave him be.  
But Bokuto’s sudden reaction had indeed made him rethink about that.

“He looks at you like he wants to swallow you”

A shiver ran down Akaashi’s spine. Never before he’d seen Bokuto so serious, so angry, so… possessive? Is that what that was about? No, it couldn’t have just been the fear of Akaashi getting friendly with an opponent.   
It was almost like Fukurodani’s captain was trying to protect him. And did he just _growl?!_

“I’m positive that that’s not the case, Bokuto-san. We should line up for the greetin— _Bokuto-san??_ ”

In a matter of seconds Fukurodani’s ace was on the other side of the net, closing the distance between he and Sakusa until they were just centimetres apart. Bokuto was shorter than him but bigger. In a hypothetical fight it was most likely for him to have the upper hand - although Akaashi had the feeling that Sakusa knew very well how to use his body, based on how polished his play style was.   
Bokuto managed to angrily mutter something to Sakusa before Akaashi reached them and grabbed his teammate's arm, trying his best to calm him down by stroking his back with the other hand. The setter hadn’t been able to hear what he said, but by looking at the dark haired man’s reaction, it mustn’t have produced the result that Bokuto was hoping for: Sakusa’s thin lips were curved upwards, forming a smirk.

  
After they’d took a shower and changed into their uniforms, Bokuto still refused to apologize to Itachiyama’s ace, just walking back to Fukurodani’s bus without looking back once.  
Akaashi on the other hand, being the mature person he was, specifically looked for Sakusa before joining his team on the bus, his mind tormented with the thought of their coach giving shit to Bokuto for that, even though _he_ 'd been the one to trigger that whole situation – for some reason.   
The dark haired man was also walking out of the gym where they’d had their match about an hour before, probably towards his school’s bus, which was also parked nearby. With him walked his teammate and cousin Komori, which Akaashi still hadn’t had a chance to properly speak with. He knew however that the young man was a very skilled libero, since he was the one causing them more trouble together with Sakusa every time Fukurodani played against Itachiyama. 

Before Akaashi could even call his name, Sakusa noticed him and distanced himself from his teammate, which kept on walking after briefly greeting Akaashi with a smile, and walked to him. His eyes were even more intense now that he was wearing his mask, which was covering most of his face.  
Akaashi cleared his throat before he spoke, a weird self-awareness of his every movement suddenly making it hard to speak. 

“I wanted to apologize for Bokuto-san’s outburst on his behalf. I’m guessing he was stressed because of the match, but how he behaved still remains unacceptable. Our school has a reputation, as I’m sure you’re aware, and in no way it was his or my intention to stain it. So, please, do accept my apology”, Akaashi managed to articulate, feeling as tense as a violin string. 

Sakusa’s expression was impossible to read, both because of the mask and because his eyes were barely blinking and completely still, focused on Akaashi’s own. As the setter concluded his apology, the taller man nodded, just once, then he lowered his mask and did something Akaashi was not expecting: he smiled at him. It was so different from the smirk he’d seen on the court before that it took Akaashi a while to reciprocate the smile, nervously.

“You don’t need to worry about that. But, nonetheless, thank you for coming to find me to talk to me”

His voice was deep, but he spoke to Akaashi in such a soft manner that the setter instantly felt calmer. He now felt stupid for worrying so much about the staring and that whole situation, since Sakusa seemed so cool about it.

“I hope we’ll have other occasions, hopefully more pleasant than this, to talk to each other, Akaashi”

Even though he’d spoke with the same softness as a moment before, there was something off about that sentence, especially in the way he said his name. It almost sounded like a threat.  
At the time Akaashi had just agreed with him and went back to Fukurodani’s bus, soon forgetting about the whole thing. But, as he saw Sakusa coming through the door - to what he realized must have been his house - that morning, he instantly remembered about that.

Maybe it had been a mistake to let all of that slide so fast. But it was too late now.

 _Crap_.


	2. 2.

Akaashi was awake. That was the first thing Sakusa noticed as he walked through the door to his apartment, holding a fuming paper bag containing breakfast from a nearby cafè. He’d been careful to hide the logo with his hand, just in case the setter actually started panicking and tried to look around for clues on his whereabouts.

As the dark haired man closed the door behind him, he carefully placed the bag on the table in front of the couch where Akaashi was lying. He then proceeded to clean his hands with a hand gel and removed the white mask from his face.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?”, Sakusa inquired, involuntarily eyeing the plastic string keeping Akaashi’s wrists together; not too tight, but blocking them from moving too much nonetheless.

The setter blinked while still lying down and slightly tilted his head, staring at him with rather sleepy eyes. He didn’t look particularly agitated or worried about the purpose of his presence there, which was weird.

Sakusa knew he was smart. A genius, almost. He must have been hiding his true reactions very carefully, perhaps fearing that an overreaction could put him into danger. Yes, it must have been something like that, knowing how cautious he was. There was no way he could be that unaffected by the situation.

“A bit dizzy. It’s been a while since I’ve slept on a couch…”

 _That’s not why you feel dizzy and you know it_ , Sakusa thought.

_Why are you not telling me the truth, Keiji?_

“I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe some coffee will help. I remember you drink it black?”

The setter blinked once again while letting his head fall back on the armrest, some of his dark brown locks hiding his eyes for a moment. Lying like that, his lips slightly parted and his eyes half lidded, one long, bright ray of sunshine caressing his delicate figure, he looked simply ethereal. Sakusa couldn’t stop staring at him, in a way that he realized must have looked pretty creepy to the other. He tried to focus his attention on something else, but his eyes just wandered on Akaashi’s hands, joined on his abdomen, so pale and clean. So very clean _. Fuck._

“How do you know that?”

Only for a second, the most beautiful frown appeared on the setter’s face. He’d wrinkled his nose and raised an eyebrow, his voice weak but gentle, so evidently curious and puzzled by the other’s knowledge on his coffee tastes.

Sakusa found himself smiling at the other. A sweet smile, one that was conveying all the pure, genuine happiness he was feeling for being able to talk to the other and look at him, _God he was so beautiful_ , from so up close without the thought of that loud, annoying idiot of Bokuto popping out to ruin their conversation.

And Akaashi didn’t look like he was freaking out! If he kept being so calm about the whole thing then maybe he could untie his wrists!

“I heard you saying it to your… teammate, Bokuto-san. He once brought you a vanilla latte in an attempt to cheer you up after one of your losses against us, so you reminded him that you prefer black coffee”, Sakusa explained, opening the bag and placing the cup of coffee on the table in front of the other, together with a box of blueberry pancakes, also Akaashi’s favourite.

Akaashi looked bewildered to say the least. It seemed like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I had no idea you were listening”, the setter whispered, mostly to himself, staring at the breakfast of his dreams right there in front of him, just waiting to be devoured. He then raised his dark blue eyes on the tall man standing on the other side of the table, looking tense. “You didn’t get anything for yourself?”

Sakusa winced imperceptibly, unprepared to the question. He didn’t expect Akaashi to worry about him.

“I… already ate a while ago, while you were asleep”, the ace explained, his fingers fidgeting.

Akaashi slowly nodded, his gaze back to the food in front of him. He really didn’t seem bothered by the fact that his wrists were fucking _tied_.

“Sakusa-san?”

The ace tried to mentally record the sound of his name caressing Akaashi’s mouth, but failed.

“Yes?”

Akaashi raised his tied wrists until they were at the same height as his face, his expression serious but meek.

“Would you mind feeding me?”

Sakusa didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he saw Akaashi smiling.

*** The previous evening ***

It was weird for Akaashi to miss classes. It was even weirder for him to miss practice. Actually, Bokuto couldn’t remember a single day that his friend had failed to be there for a training.

The day felt somehow longer without him, the time going slower and feeling way heavier, and Fukurodani’s ace just couldn’t wait to be out of school so that he could check if Akaashi had answered his texts.

He hadn’t.

It wasn’t like him at all to disappear like that. Even when he’d been sick he’d always kept in touch with him, no matter what. Something just didn’t feel right.

Bokuto then texted Kuroo in an attempt to vent a bit, not aware that sending his best friend that text would drastically change what was about to happen.

19:09 | **New Message to:** **Kuroo**

‘Akaashi disappeared and I’m worried as fuck’

***

Akaashi didn’t know Sakusa Kiyoomi personally. He only knew him as a player. He was however positive he knew that side of him pretty well. So well that, maybe, he could also have guessed some traits of his personality.

He knew Sakusa was very critical of both himself and the people he was playing with, expecting a specific degree of precision from the tosses he received as well as his spikes. He was careful, analytical and ambitious. He liked to feel powerful and he liked when his predictions – his _expectations_ – became true.

With all probabilities he’d planned that kidnapping way ahead and had the whole situation under control. There was no way Akaashi could slip away by simply distracting him or screaming for help.

The only chance he had to free himself was by pandering to him.

So he was speaking in a low, calming tone, and he wasn’t moving around too much to avoid triggering the other’s germophobia. He was acting like he was actually enjoying being there, like he was willing to be in Sakusa’s company, therefore there was no reason for him to be scared or agitated.

But then Itachiyama’s ace had shown him that he remembered something, something that Akaashi hadn’t even said directly _to_ him, and he felt his heart skipping a beat.

No one had ever paid so much attention to him to remember exactly what he liked for breakfast – which wasn’t even something complicated, just black coffee and blueberry pancakes –, not even his own parents.

_And it felt good._

Even though Sakusa was a stranger, most likely a stalker and certainly not a very sane person.

“No. I wouldn’t”

The black haired man cleared his throat, getting closer and sitting beside the other’s legs, practically on the edge of the couch. He then cleansed his hands once again with the gel, inquiring Akaashi with his eyes in order to be sure whether the setter preferred to drink a sip of coffee first or to start eating the pancakes. The latter focused his gaze on the pancakes, slowly blinking.

Sakusa tried to swallow, his mouth drier than a desert. He then approached the pancakes with the plastic fork and knife he’d just extracted from the brand new packaging that the cafè offered together with the food, Akaashi silently staring at the other’s fingers moving around, studying their shape and movements. They looked larger and thinner than Bokuto’s; his wrists were also slimmer.

A small slice of pancake soon met Akaashi’s mouth, his teeth carefully chewing it, the smallest lump in his throat to indicate he’d swallowed it. Then another. And another.

His every movement was so slow and clean – he was doing his best to prevent crumbs from falling from his lips, which was why he would let almost the whole fork inside his mouth to grasp at the bite – that Sakusa was starting to feel aroused by looking at him. And neither of them was talking! It was pure bliss.

After a whole pancake, divided into six neat pieces, Akaashi’s eyes stopped on the cup of coffee. Sakusa immediately took the hint, gently lifting a hand to place it behind the setter’s head, grabbing the cup with his other hand and bringing it closer to Akaashi’s mouth. The latter locked eyes with him, swallowing drop after drop of the dark liquid that Sakusa was slowly pouring between his lips, careful not to stain his clothes. Itachiyama’s ace realized that the setter’s hair was the same colour as the coffee.

“I should brush my teeth now…”, the setter murmured as soon as Sakusa placed the cup back on the table. The black haired man nodded after a while, his germophobia agreeing with the other.

“Come with me”

The bathroom wasn’t far from the living room, just a couple steps in the corridor leading to the other rooms and there it was, the first door on the left. Akaashi entered, Sakusa followed him just after.

The room wasn’t big, which left them little space to move around. For a brief moment the setter felt overwhelmed by their height difference. Sakusa was so tall that he almost touched the ceiling.

Itachiyama’s ace opened the cabinet above the sink, revealing an impressive number of toothbrushes and toothpaste confections still untouched, all neatly ordered by colour. Before Sakusa could close the cabinet, Akaashi also noticed some pills at the very top, the lid hidden, maybe some kind of medication.

As the black haired man removed the packaging from a new toothbrush and toothpaste, Akaashi found himself once again studying him and his movements: it was just his way of getting to know other people. The more he got used to their ways of talking and moving around, the calmer he felt in their company. And even though the circumstances around that interaction were still unclear and surely not entirely positive, he was still thinking that Sakusa wasn’t that bad, all things considered.

“Open your mouth, please”

Akaashi almost winced when he heard Sakusa whisper, his hand holding the toothbrush with a small drop of toothpaste on it. The setter did as he asked, parting his lips once again, showing his tongue and teeth to the other by lifting his upper lip just a bit.

Sakusa started brushing. Slowly at first, then more vigorously, but still being meticulous and careful as before. As white foam from the toothpaste started forming inside the setter’s mouth, Sakusa offered him a plastic cup with some water, also straight from a new package of plastic cups that was inside the cabinet. Akaashi took a sip, he made it dance around his mouth for a few seconds, then he lowered his head to spit the content in the sink - Sakusa instantly opening the water jet to clean it afterwards.

They repeated the sequence until Sakusa was satisfied, which actually took a while. Akaashi’s gums were starting to hurt from the continued friction, but the ace had been careful not to make them bleed.

“Show me, I need to make sure”, the black haired man murmured, placing a hand under the setter’s chin to tilt it upwards. Akaashi was about to open his mouth once again, but he changed his mind. He smiled instead, his white, perfectly straight teeth shining under the bathroom’s dim light.

Sakusa couldn’t stop himself and he moved the hand that was holding the other’s chin onto his lips, pressing onto them, then onto his teeth. His fingertips slid on the smooth, hard surface of his teeth, playing with his canines before he let out a loud gasp when he felt Akaashi licking his fingers. He instinctively backed a few steps away from the setter, his breath suddenly heavy.

He may have gone a bit too far with that, Akaashi thought, but the tension was too much to bear and Sakusa had such beautiful hands—and on top of that he was still feeling quite dizzy.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t—“, but something was once again pressing onto his mouth, something soft and warm.

It took Akaashi a moment to realize that what he was feeling were Sakusa’s lips.

They were less dry than the setter thought, and as soft as a mochi. He was also holding his face still in his huge hands.

Akaashi slowly closed his eyes, his hands gripping at the other’s t-shirt, pretty sure that such a contact would be too much for him but too hungry for more physical closeness to control himself. He opened his mouth wide to leave the other free to explore him and savour him but… Sakusa wasn’t moving his lips. He was just pressing them onto Akaashi’s and quietly breathing onto his cheek, his nose cold.

As Akaashi tried to leave a small kiss on the other’s mouth Sakusa shrunk back, just getting closer again after a couple of seconds, this time leaving a passionate kiss on the setter’s lips. It didn’t feel like the ace didn’t know how to kiss him, quite the contrary. It just felt like he was restraining himself, probably because of his phobia. Everyone knows that human mouths are pretty dirty, no matter how good they’ve been washed.

After another one of those deep – but short lived – kisses Akaashi’s throat let out a low whimper, begging for more contact, more closeness.

“Kiyoomi, _please_ …”, he gasped onto the other’s mouth, trying to get closer to him by standing up on his toes.

Hearing such a desperate request from Akaashi, Sakusa’s brain shut down, his phobia forgotten, his hands moving on their own. He abruptly lifted the setter’s body, pushing him against the wall while holding his thighs. He then placed himself between them, attacking his mouth with his own, this time biting at his lips and tracing his teeth with his tongue, his breath heavy, his hands shivering.

Akaashi didn’t hesitate to throw his arms around the other’s neck, drowning in Sakusa’s urgency, feeling chills all around his body while the ace’s long fingers held him in place by his legs. He desperately wanted to lose his hands in his curly hair but he was pretty sure the other wouldn’t have liked that as much as him, so he was just scratching his back, his mouth still busy in trying to keep up with Sakusa’s crazy rhythm. The ace’s lips moved fast, but his movements were precise and there was nothing sloppy about them: it almost felt as if he was following a medical procedure.

After what felt like ages, Sakusa finally parted their mouths, hiding his face on Akaashi’s neck while heavily panting. The setter was also panting, his head suddenly heavy and his heart pounding in his chest, not a single coherent thought left inside his brain at that point.

“We should move from here. The bedroom is cleaner”

Akaashi didn’t like the implication behind that. Kissing a stranger was fine: he was young, and horny, and Sakusa was handsome, but that was it. He didn’t really feel ready yet for other kinds of contacts. And the main reason why he was kissing him in the first place was to try and stay alive in that absurd situation.

The way Sakusa didn’t even put him down before moving to the bedroom was enough to make him regret having ever started teasing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking self indulgent I'm sorry hfskljdg-- it's not like it was meant to be a slow burn but I MEAN it's the second chapter and they're already MAKING OUT???? u sick fuckers.  
> Anyway I'm so glad this got such positive feedback after such a short time!! Thank you so much!! I'm in love with every single comment you guys left me, this new chapter came so soon thanks to you and only you! And I sincerely hope you liked it!!!! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!  
> (Woah, I'm really updating a long after a decent amount of time, unbelievable)  
> (I'll try update again soon, see ya!! <3)


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: descriptions of non-consensual sexual acts in this chapter.

Kiyoomi’s bedroom was exactly how Akaashi thought it would be: extra tidy, nothing out of the ordinary and the pungent smell of antiseptic floating around.

As Itachiyama’s ace gently placed him on his bed, grey sheets and a soft mattress to welcome him, Akaashi slowly - but firmly – took hold of one of Kiyoomi’s hands. The taller boy, that was already about to close the room’s door, looked at him with a puzzled look.

Akaashi was positive he knew where that situation was going, and he really didn’t feel comfortable with it. Putting aside the fact that he was still a virgin, there was no way Kiyoomi would have been delicate with him, given how restless he’d become after just a bit of kissing.

“I… don’t mean to be rude, and please forgive me if I’ll say something that does sound disrespectful, but… I’m not okay with this”, Fukurodani’s setter managed to say, his tone meek, his blue eyes low.

Kiyoomi froze, his tall figure projecting an even more eerie aura than usual. He didn’t move for a few seconds, the atmosphere getting heavier and heavier.

“I must have misunderstood”, he finally answered in a gelid voice, still taking the few necessary steps to reach the door and close it. He then approached the bed, sitting on the corner farthest from Akaashi. The latter still didn’t dare to look at him, his shoulders stiff, his tied wrists resting in his lap. Sitting like that, his knees close to his chest and his face mostly hidden, it was pretty obvious how scared he was by the situation, although he was still trying not to make it _too_ obvious.

In not more than a split second, one of Kiyoomi’s huge hands grabbed Akaashi’s face, forcing him to raise his head. Akaashi winced at the contact, finding himself looking directly at Kiyoomi’s face now. The latter got closer to him, so much that Akaashi could feel his breath on his mouth.

“ _Then why did you not stop me before?_ ”, Kiyoomi whispered, a note of anger in his voice. The hand he had on Akaashi’s face was visibly twitching, as if he was restraining himself from increasing the grip. Akaashi tried to swallow but he couldn’t. He’d never seen Kiyoomi like that, even though he’d already had the impression before that deep down he could have been hiding a similar nature.

“I... didn’t want you to get angry”, there was no point in lying to him anymore. If Kiyoomi’s intention was to hurt him or abuse him, he would have certainly done so. They were alone in his house, in which he apparently lived by himself, and he was way physically stronger than him. He also didn’t have his wrists tied.

Kiyoomi stared at him for what felt like an eternity. He then removed his hand from Akaashi’s face, moving from the bed to look for something in one of his drawers. Akaashi allowed himself to relax his shoulders just a little bit, not aware that what Kiyoomi was about to show him would make him realise once and for all how severe that situation actually was.

*** The previous (late) evening ***

“Maybe he went on holiday? I think you’re overreacting a bit, Bo”

As soon as Bokuto got home he’d dialled Kuroo’s number and started rambling about the weirdness of Akaashi’s disappearance. Though he knew deep inside that there may have also been other reasons for the ghosting and his absence at school and the training, he still had the strong feeling that there was something incredibly wrong going on.

“Then let’s go to his house together and see if his parents know anything!”

Kuroo genuinely – but not maliciously – laughed at that. It was so obvious how much Bokuto cared about Akaashi, to the point that he’d sometimes forget that Akaashi was his own person, with his own life and his own privacy.

“It’s been one day, Bo, I’m sure we’d just spook them for no reason. Let’s see how tomorrow goes and, if he still hasn’t even answered your messages, we’ll go and ask them together, ‘kay?”

As far as Kuroo knew Akaashi, it _was_ pretty weird for him to disappear like that. Fukurodani’s setter was a diligent and hardworking person, surely not one of the many teens that randomly missed classes _and_ training, since he was also a regular in the team. But there were so many plausible – and not so dreadful – explanations for his disappearance, that instantly jumping to the worst case scenario didn’t seem like such a good idea.

However, Bokuto didn’t agree with him.

“But what if this is one of those situations where it’s better to act sooner than later?? What if he’s been kidnapped and he’s being held captive right now? Isn’t it better to consider as many options as we can even though we might be wrong?? He’s never done something like this before!”

Kuroo sighed. If Bokuto wanted that bad to look like a stalker to Akaashi’s parents, so be it. If that would have helped him to calm down, there was no real harm in it after all.

“Alright, alright. We’ll go together. Just let me take a shower first and we’ll meet at the station close to his house. Hopefully you’re wrong about all of this...”

“Yeah, hopefully”

Bokuto wondered why he was 100% sure he was right.

***

Akaashi was now staring at a mobile phone in his tied hands. It was turned off, so there wasn’t anything to look at yet, but Fukurodani’s setter felt like he knew what Kiyoomi was about to show him.

“Turn it on”, once again Kiyoomi was talking in a glacial tone, which was the tone Akaashi was used to hear him use with his teammates and acquaintances, though not with him so far.

He did as the other asked, waiting for the mobile to be completely switched on.

“Now go to the Gallery”, Kiyoomi asked in the same tone.

The moment Akaashi opened up the Gallery, the number of pictures inside it left him speechless: there were exactly 7120 pictures on the device. All of them had either him, Fukurodani Academy or his home's street or postcode in them. There didn’t seem to be any pictures with Bokuto, though Akaashi was sure in many of the situations Kiyoomi had captured he was in his company. Therefore, cutting him out had been voluntary.

“Have you got any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, Keiji?”, Kiyoomi started, sitting once again on the bed, this time right beside Akaashi, looking at the device in his hands - that Akaashi was still browsing - with him while talking, “I started planning it last year, after your fourth loss against us. It was the day you were telling Bokuto that you can never tell what I’m thinking about, so you’re never able to predict my plays. You then said something, something that brought you right here today. Do you remember what it was, Keiji?”

Akaashi _really_ didn’t like where this was going.

“No, I don’t remember. I’m sorry”, he murmured.

Kiyoomi’s face contorted in a semblance of a grin.

“I thought you didn’t. It’s because you’re not entirely aware of the effect you have on others, are you? I bet you also haven't purposefully invited that unbearable baboon to fall in love with you, right? Of course you haven’t—”, at the sole indirect mention of Bokuto, Kiyoomi immediately brought a hand to cover his mouth as he started coughing uncontrollably. Akaashi reminded himself not to mention Bokuto in any way while in Kiyoomi’s company, though the fact that Kiyoomi was sure Bokuto was in love with him was something dangerous itself.

As soon as the cough quieted down, Kiyoomi continued, slowly:

“You said something very beautiful that day. Something that no one had ever said about me”, he once again grabbed Akaashi’s face, more gently and with both his hands this time, “You said ‘I wish I knew how his head works’. Have you got any idea how much that meant to me, Keiji?”

Although he still looked kind of creepy, his black eyes had a different spark in them now. Something similar to tenderness, if someone like him was capable of feeling and expressing tenderness at all. As Akaashi remembered about the breakfast he realised he apparently could, after all.

Fukurodani’s setter found himself smiling while answering, if anything to try and calm down the other, which was clearly agitated:

“I wasn't aware you heard that, but I'm glad it meant so much to you”

Kiyoomi’s expression switched once again, the icy look back on his face, his grip on Akaashi’s face getting firmer.

“Then why are you afraid of me? Can’t you see this is all for you?”, he continued, his voice kind of desperate now, “You can finally see how my head works! I did all of this for you, so we can talk and get to know each other without other people around, so you can know all you need to know about me and I can know about you, too!”

Akaashi tried once again to swallow, slowly moving the phone on the bed and raising his tied hands to hold Kiyoomi’s own, doing his best to keep reciprocating his look even though it was getting way too intense. He took a deep breath before answering.

“Don’t you think this is a little extreme?”

Kiyoomi’s expression dropped just like a cup that slips away from one’s hands to meet the floor and shatter forever.

“ _Extreme…?_ ”, he repeated, abruptly moving his hands away from Akaashi’s face. The latter could distinctively feel the whole vibe in the room switching for the worse.

“I didn’t—“

_“SHUT UP!”_

Never before Akaashi had heard Kiyoomi raise his voice that much. Not even to call a ball to himself, never. He barely knew what his voice sounded like since he was always speaking in such a low tone. He immediately felt a shiver running down his spine.

“You clearly have no idea how much I’ve done for you! If you did, you surely wouldn’t be saying things like these! You would be grateful and happy and…”, the longest pause, his fists clenching, “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He got up from the bed once again, opening a different drawer to get something.

Akaashi didn’t dare to speak, Kiyoomi’s voice still ringing in his ears. As soon as he saw what was in Kiyoomi’s hands though, his breath sped up: he was holding a rope, a pair of single-use gloves, a t-shirt, a condom and a bottle of lube.

“Kiyoomi, please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to you—“

“Just save your words. I know you don’t want to be here. I don’t know why I thought this could work out. After all, you already seem quite satisfied just following your dear teammate around like a dog rather than being treated like your own person, don’t you?”

The moment Kiyoomi grabbed his hands and tied them a second time with the rope, right on top of the string, Akaashi knew it was too late. He’d messed up. And he was going to pay for it.

Once Kiyoomi secured the other end of the rope to the headboard, he started roughly undressing Akaashi, leaving him naked - except for his shirt, which he left open - in a matter of seconds.

“I wanted this to be sweet and a good memory for you. I really did. I’m sorry, Keiji”, he explained, his face a mask of what seemed like pain, blocking Akaashi’s mouth with the t-shirt.

He then put the gloves on and squeezed some lube on his long fingers, climbing on top of Fukurodani’s setter and grabbing him by his hair to keep his head raised, while the other hand approached his orifice. He kept looking directly at him while he started stretching him out, Akaashi’s breath heavier, a few whimpers escaping his mouth.

“I wanted to kiss every inch of you, I wanted to draw you… did you know I made at least fifty portraits of you, Keiji? I’ll show them to you even if you don’t deserve it, don’t worry...”, he whispered to his ear, his fingers going deeper and deeper inside the other.

Akaashi’s mind was blank. He could feel the discomfort from Kiyoomi’s fingers moving inside of him, but even then his brain was still trying to protect him from the even bigger pain generated from the thought that he wasn’t a virgin anymore and that this was, somehow, unforgivable.

He started looking for comfort in some old memories, trying not to focus on Kiyoomi’s poisonous words while he kept thrusting his fingers inside of him: he lost himself in the memory of Bokuto’s laughter when Akaashi had given him his birthday present the previous year, which were two tickets to an amusement park that he really wanted to go to. He then remembered the first time their coach had told him how important he was for the team, how good that made him feel. He tried to picture himself in his room, inside his house, in his own bed, texting Bokuto how his day had been… and then the tears started streaming down his face, disappearing on the fabric of the t-shirt that was pushed inside his mouth.

The moment Kiyoomi felt Akaashi’s tears on his own cheek – his face still next to Akaashi’s while he was whispering in his ear –, his fingers stopped moving. He raised his face enough to look at Akaashi’s, his blue eyes all teary, his cheeks bright red. That was apparently enough to make him take his fingers out and move the t-shirt from Akaashi’s mouth, the latter gasping for air and moaning in pain right after.

But, as Kiyoomi was about to speak again, the doorbell rang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...........................heya.  
> I apologise for the disappearence, but between the covid and some personal issues (mainly depression), I wasn't able to continue this story until today. I'm incredibly happy about all the support it received though, thank you so much! I hope you'll continue to follow it and enjoy it, as I really want to be able to finish it!!  
> As you may have noticed by now, it might take a while for me to update, but I will do my best to give you at least a monthly update. Unfortunately I'm also back to work, so I won't have much time, but I like how the story is turning out and am curious myself to see how it goes!!  
> So thank you once again for your support and feel free to DM me on Twitter to let me know your thoughts or to leave me a comment down here, it helps more than you can imagine!!
> 
> See you soon (hopefully...) <3

**Author's Note:**

> I........really don't know where I'm going with this. I've never written anything like it but I just felt the urge to do it so here I am. I'm going through a lot of shit rn so I guess this is kinda a coping mechanism?? I don't even know at this point, I just hope you're liking it so far.  
> I might be going a bit OOC with the characters, although I am doing my best to follow their original traits. I don't know why, but I found the thought of Sakusa having deranged thoughts and kidnapping people because he's not exactly in his right mind extremely appalling (sorry Omi-kun I love you,,,,).
> 
> Hopefully I'll have some time to continue this soon.  
> In the meantime you can find me on Twitter, @bobasrasca
> 
> Thanks for reading! ♡


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